Poor Ways to Handle Stress

Don't rely on bad habits to reduce your stress.

Smoking, mindless TikToks, sleeping 12 hours a day, alcohol, drugs, meaningless toxic relationships, and other bad habits do not allow people to cope in the long run. Usually these habits cause either more stress, are a financial drain, or cause brain numbing.

Turn bad habits into good ones

Anonymous - Gamblers (c. 1900).

The Dirty Dozen: Bad Ways to Handle Stress

1) Start gambling online or in person. People who need a big win for money are extremely susceptible to becoming addicted to gambling.

2) Send your retirement money to celebrities, Only Fans, and attractive people catfishing for love on the internet. Sadly, Ryan Reynolds, Jason Momoa or Sandra Bullock are not texting you looking for dates. Check out SCARS (Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams), the encyclopedia of scams for advice and help.

If you are lonely please find another outlet for your affection and your money. There are lovely pets at shelters that need cuddles and pet food. There are people in nursing homes who would love company.

3) Borrow a lot of money from sketchy people or take out Payday loans with high adjustable interest rates. You are just delaying the payback and risking a visit from Vito the enforcer.

4) Remodel an old house with your spouse (see The Money Pit with Tom Hanks 1986).

5) Take up shopping therapy. Buy a lot of Temu and Amazon crap with credit cards that you can try to sell later on Ebay for a fraction of what you paid.

6) Rob a bank or convenience store. If a life of crime is your desire, let me suggest being a white collar criminal instead - they always seem to get off. You can try the politician's friend: skimming, scamming, and grifting (with blackmail on the side). Plus side, you may be elected to public office even after committing crimes.

7) Start selling drugs. If you go this route make sure you are the Big Dog at the top because this is one giant pyramid scheme. Lower tier sellers don't get paid very well and there are jail cells for those who get caught. Remember smart dealers don't snort their product.

8) Sign up for a multi-level marketing (MLM) scheme. Not only will you be stressed, you will be in a horrible cult with no friends after you try to scam them. Unlike druggies, you will get zero sympathy at the soup kitchen.

9) Take up a meth habit. At least you will have druggy friends to smoke with (unlike the MLM people). Just make sure to carry Narcan.

10) Join a religious cult or anything considered a prosperity Megachurch. Does your church raise love offerings for preachers and to fund huge building projects? Is your preacher flying around in designer sneakers in a private jet while asking you for money? I remember that is just the way Jesus traveled ... no?

Christ feeding the multitude unknown artist. Note: Jesus is handing out food to those in need, not taking money from those in need to fund his lavish gold plated palace.

11) Start day trading. If losing lots of money really quickly isn't exciting enough you may want to incorporate day drinking and day chain smoking into the mix.

12) Be constantly online. Surely being on your phone 24/7 is going to improve your mental health, right (Zablotsky et al. 2025)?

See Reduce Stress by Unplugging for advice on kicking the internet habit.

Domenico Induno Girl sewing (1860s) oil on canvas.

Make good choices

What inspires YOU?

If you do not know what inspires you:

1) Get out of your rut and experience change. Try things that are new, different and slightly scary (in a good way).

Try to experience big and little things that transform you and cause awe. Nature, art, literature, acts of giving, accomplishing a large goal and caring for animals and/or people can all give you a feeling of one with the universe.

2) Think about people you idolize. What is it that you admire about them.

On the flip side, think about people that make you envious or jealous. What do they have that you wish you had?

3) Take a break and do whatever you want. What do you gravitate towards? What do you want to read about? What do you want to do?

Give yourself permission to explore new passions, new vocations and new hobbies and to be totally crappy at them while you are learning. Be a five year old with new finger paints.

Emile Adan Apprentice c1914.

4) Remember what you were passionate about in your youth or earlier life. Have you lost that inner zest for life? How can you get it back?

Teo F. (23 year old): "One strategy I've used successfully is to make it more convenient and easier to make the choices I want to make vs wasting my time on Reddit and YouTube. A few examples:

I've been doing Zumba twice a week for a while, but sometimes I would miss workout days just because of the hassles associated with going to a crowded gym. So I found some great free workouts I can do online, and now I work out in my living room most of the time. I never miss workouts, I save time and I can listen to my favorite podcast.

I wanted to teach myself how to do animation, and I figured that realistically I would need to spend a majority of my free computing time to actually get really familiar with it. So I used a free app to block distracting websites from my laptop AND phone from 6-9:30 PM (after work). I downloaded a free animation program (Blender) and put the shortcut button front and center on my screen so I have to look at it when I turn on the laptop. I book marked learning/tutorial videos about Blender and made a goal to watch and practice one per day. I mark down each day as I do it to motivate myself to keep a streak. To allow for life to intervene, I give myself two free days per week. That way I will not be discouraged if I have to miss a day.

I bought an e-reader from E-bay, and I put free books on it, and this means I actually read during my spare time. Go to the library, get a library card, install the library app Libby, and you can download library books in all genres.

...if you are finding it difficult to make the right choices today, you can try to increase the chances of choosing right for your future, by making the better choice easier to do."

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Turn your bad habits into good habits

Work to be the person you want to be not the person you are now.

Does your life feel like never ending drudgery? You can make a change. Ilia Efimovich Repin (1844-1930) Barge Haulers on the Volga (c. 1870–1873). Oil on canvas.

Techniques:

1) Ask yourself what the person you want to be would do.

If you want to be healthier, when confronted with a choice ask yourself what a healthy person would do and do it.

Would a healthy person take the elevator or the stairs?

Would a healthy person eat Cheetos or a carrot? What would a healthy person buy at the supermarket?

If you want to stop drinking and/or smoking ask yourself what a sober or nonsmoking person would do.

Would a sober person down a fifth of Jack Daniels with a cigarette before breakfast?

Would a nonsmoker carry around a pack of cigarettes?

Redefine who you are to change your habits.

2) Write down what would happen if you did your bad habit every day for the next year vs if you substituted a better habit.

For example:

If you smoke 1/2 pack of cigarettes (10 cigarettes) per day for a year:

Assuming an average USA cost of $10 a pack, in a year this will cost $1,825. Think of opportunity costs: what else could you do with $1,825?

Assuming 6 minutes to smoke 1 cigarette; you used 1 hour a day smoking. This is slightly over 15 (24 hr) days a year smoking or 45.6 8-hr days. Over a month of smoking time. What could you learn to do with an extra hour a day or an extra 45 days a year?

• You will increase risk factors for cancer, diabetes, heart disease etc.
• You will be smelly to nonsmokers.
• You will have to be careful around infants and pets since even 3rd hand smoke (the yellow tar that sticks to everything) is harmful to them.

See Smoking and Vaping Boosts Inflammation for more.

3) Minimize temptation by avoiding it.

♠ If you buy cigarettes after work when you drive past the corner store... change your route home from work.

♠ If you eat snacks while watching YouTube on your phone at 7 PM... go for a walk while listening to a podcast or audio book instead. You can listen with one earbud if you need to pay attention to traffic.

♠ If you cruise your kitchen for something to munch on at 10 PM... stop bringing snacks home from the grocery store. Do something else with your hands so you are not tempted to snack. Take up knitting, learn to code, teach yourself animation, take up break dancing, make a robot, build majestic driftwood animals like Jeffro Uitto...

What inspires YOU to change?

Poster by Louis J Rhead for the New York Sun 1896.

Accept things you cannot change by choosing a new path

You can't control other people but you can control your reaction to them.

This does not mean you have to be a doormat; you can have clearly defined reactions to other people.

Instead of getting upset and repeating the same old arguments or behaviors, choose a new path. You can refuse to engage with the person, stop associating with the person (go no contact), respond differently to them, choose to call the appropriate authorities to help protect yourself, denounce them to your community, block them online, or avoid them.

You don't have to forgive the person who has abused you (or others) but you should take steps to make sure they can not influence your mental health.

Don't give them power over you. Move on. You can let something go without forgiving someone.

Let me repeat that in case you need to hear it from someone else. There is no need to forgive those who have wronged or hurt you. It is OK to shun toxic abusers or to warn others about them. Don't feel guilty about not forgiving them. Just don't let them take up your head space or cause you to do things that harm you (like hold onto anger and resentment).

What makes you smile? Robert Lee MacCameron - New Orleans Man 1910 oil on canvas.

*Names and some minor identifying details in all stories in this website are changed to protect people's privacy.

This information in this website is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

References:

Zablotsky B, Ng AE, Black LI, Haile G, Bose J, Jones JR, Blumberg SJ. Associations Between Screen Time Use and Health Outcomes Among US Teenagers. Prev Chronic Dis. 2025 Jul 10;22:E38. doi: 10.5888/pcd22.240537. Full article.